rufiosaur

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 03:15:37 GMT

Honestly my life is wearing to a single thread.
My school life is terrible, not socially, but educationally, im falling behind.
Its not out of my lack of abilitly, but of my constant lazyness.
My family life is gone completely, i no longer have steady parents or have people that really care about me.
The only real thing i have left even close to family is my friends, and i can only trust them to a certain degree, i mean, my friends arent going to be here for me forever.
I think that having a girlfriend may help in a way, giving me someone to wake up for every day, someone that i know cares for me, but i have trouble finding a girl to be with, its damned near impossible for me.
I hate waking up every morning and feeling useless, and not wanting to get out of bed knowing that today is going to be the same routine as yesterday.
My life right now is at a forked road, and i have to make a desision, and its one that i shouldnt have to dwell on, kinda like choosing the light road from the dark road but for some reason something keeps making me choose the wrong path.
Meh, hopefully things will change, im sure none of you have any idea what it feels like waking up every morning and feeling like you dont belong on this planet anymore.
Todays a new day, maybe ideas will shine brightly in my head giving my life slightly new meaning.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 02:20:19 GMT

so yeah, i got to go over to my cuban friend kyms new house for the first time, and my bfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffe michelle and kerrie came, and we sang kareoke or whatever. then we went up to kyms room and i tickled all of them and then kym made this weird ass face like the girl from the exorsist out of nowhere and michelle kerrie and i were ROFL LIKE WHOAH. bahhahaha. I HAVENT LAUGHED SO HARD IN A LOOOOOOOOONG TIME. omfg. i almost forgot how much i love these girls.

ill update a lil later. peaceeeeeeeeeeee.

HOLLYWOOD WE'RE NEVER GOING DOWN! ;

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 18:36:01 GMT

OMGZ OMGZ. Last Night was BOMB BRUH.
I got to go see Chiodos with Andrea, Dan, Teah, Collette and others.
Chiodos opened, and they pretty much rocked my world.
Best live performance ive ever seen by a band so far, and ive seen some good 'uns.
I pretty much have the best friends in the world, and many of them.
Ones that stay true to themselves....unlike other kids *cough*glamkids*cough*
Well, im off. Ill update again later today after i get pics from last night.
Peaceeeeeeee.<3

HALLOWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEN

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 07:05:56 GMT

halloween.....was so fun......i dressed up as a hardcore straightedge kid. baha.
omg, its the last day im going to be able to leave my house for a while though
ughhhhhh.
i like 2 girls, isnt that fun.
uhhhm...i saw both of them tonight.
:]] eep.
i like having crushes
my band is doing better. wheee, but we cant do anything more until i get of restriction
boooooooo
anyways, enough of my ramblings, im tired.
nighttttttt.

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 23:29:19 GMT

whoah. my life kinda is slipping through my fingers like sand. its impossible to catch up to how fast everythings moving when i myself am at a standstill. i need someone to pick me up and carry me the rest of the way in order to get back to where i was before, but i learn friends dont come in without a wall coming down. im usually too afriad to bring down my wall and let people in but some people i just let in wayy too easily. i think its time for my wall to go up and stay up for a while, until i learn to trust myself. itll be just like old times. oh how i miss the old days.
i like someone, alot, sometimes i think that if they would just open their eyes, they'd realize that they have something here. i wanna be able to give my heart and soul to a girl, one girl. i want her to take it and never give it back. i just need to gain enough self confidence and push myself towards my goal...something i rarely do. i love you.

ajosidfja;slkdfj#^@#%@

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 03:40:19 GMT

I need a girlfriend. Period.
I want to be able to go out in this rain with her and hold her for the longest time.
I wanna be able to dance with her for a little while, kick up water. Then come inside && make us hot chocolate and just cuddle under a really big blanket. OMG.
Girlofmydreams, find me.

AHHHH

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 21:55:23 GMT

I can't believe i'm still going to be grounded until November 1st....that means no The Higher show friday night...no Fright Dome Saturday....no Halloween....no Coheed....omg
I have TWO..count 'um TWO crushes.
One of which i shouldn't be worried about considering she has a crush on someone else?:-/
Anyways, my cousin Amber just got a brand new camera, so that means I get to start taking new pictures soon. :]]
I've kinda sorta run out of stuff to say. :-/. haha. Oh yeah,if you haven't seen my band The Breaking Scene you should check us out. haha.
I'll probably update later tonight so...yeah. PEACE YALL.

First Entry!

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 04:32:15 GMT

Whoooooo first entry! bahah. Today was lame, sitting around the house...bored, but then again, what else do you do when you're grounded? haha. I'll try and make this little puppy a bit flashier so you all can actually enjoy looking at it. haha. As for now, i'm hitting the sack, im way to tired && have school tomorrow. Peace bros! haha.